I wanted to write something like: "So you've found yourself stuck in the Forest of Illway. Now what?"

Yeah, it sounded better in my head.

It can be kind of unsettling at first, I know. One moment, you're just living your normal life, and then something happens - yeah, usually something bad - and then you're here. I'm sure you have questions. Assuming you're actually here in the Forest and a copy of my journal hasn't just fallen out into the so-called 'real world' or something weird like that. It wouldn't be the strangest thing to have happened.

(If it is, hi out there! You'll probably think my journals are all some silly fairy tale. If so, hopefully they're fun to read!)

In any case, I wanted to write down some things that would be helpful for a newcomer, things I wish I'd learned when I first wound up here.

Well, the most important thing to know is this: You aren't stuck. You can go back, if you want to.

At least, right now you can.

This isn't one of those fairytale stories where you get lost in some little pocket universe and you have to go through some kind of big, life-changing adventure to get home. No following the yellow brick road to the Emerald City. No supplication before the Queen of Hearts. Going back is actually really easy.

I know what you're thinking. You think you're dead. I did too. But as far as I know - as far as any of the wisest and most powerful beings here can tell me - you're not. We're not. The Forest isn't an afterlife, it's more like... a little pocket reality alongside the place we came from.

There's a being here called Sidmara. Sometimes he can feel when someone hits that moment of pure, utter desperation just before they die, and he can reach out and... "catch" them, bringing them here. That's how he describes it, anyway. In my case, it was a car accident. I don't know what yours was, but I know it can't have been easy. I'm truly sorry you had to go through it, whatever it was.

It's okay now. One way or another, you get a second chance.

If you ask Sidmara, he can send you home. All you need to do is call to him. He'll send you somewhere safe. Whatever the bad thing was, it won't be there anymore. You probably won't remember you were here, or you'll think it was just a crazy dream.

But you don't have to go right away.

For a while, you still have a choice. You could always stay a bit and learn about this place, if you want.

Sid says he can't sense just anyone, only certain people. He believes they're people who "fit" here. (He doesn't like to say that people "belong" here, says it sounds too fatalistic. He really doesn't like the idea of fate.) The people who wind up here do tend to have quite a bit in common, so I don't think he's wrong.

For one thing, there are no children here, not even adolescents. You only appear in the Illway once you've reached a certain point of maturity. I can't pinpoint an exact age, but at least for humans from what I think of as the 'real world', I haven't met anyone who was under the age of twenty-two when they arrived.

Two, this place just suits people like us. The Illway appears to be nothing but forest - no desert, no ocean. The people who live here seem to thrive in this sort of pocket world somewhere between a fairytale medieval realm and a modern rural life. Maybe someday an ocean will appear? My cottage wasn't here until I arrived, after all. It's hard to say just how mutable this place is. For now, though, the forest is it.

And three? No use trying to dance around it. The Forest has a habit of attracting people who are very open with our sexuality. It takes a little getting used to - I was certainly shy at first! - but if you think someone's flirting? They probably are. (If it's Sid, he definitely is.) Don't be afraid to reciprocate, if you want to. Or not! I haven't met anyone here who doesn't respond respectfully to a 'no.' If there's something you've always fantasized about, there is almost certainly someone here who'd love to make that dream come true. Because of the nature of the Illway, there is no pregnancy, disease, or lasting injury here. You really are free to do anything you want.

Or, ahem, anyone.

Okay, that was naughty. I promise I'll get back on track!

Well, I've sort of covered a few of the basics already. What is the Forest of Illway, anyway? It's, as best I can tell, an endless forest, or at least, one that somehow loops back on itself. Walk in any direction long enough and you'll eventually reach someplace familiar. It makes this place very tricky to map, but it also means it's almost impossible to get lost. I once heard someone say that wherever you're hoping to go is where you'll end up. I've tried testing that, and it's... sort of true? You can't just say, "I want to go to the village!" and expect to end up there, though, especially if deep down you'd really prefer to go swimming in the lake. You'll just end up at the lake. Navigation here is an act of will.

A lot of things here are.

You stop aging the moment you enter the Illway, and for as long as you stay here. Might take a while to notice, but it's the first real change. It happens to everyone... so if you're here, it's already happened to you. Congratulations, you're pretty much immortal now! Maybe you're excited to hear that, maybe a little nervous. Don't worry, I understand. I guess it's just something you get used to after a while! You'll start to notice that any of those little aches and pains that compound over a lifetime, any persistent problems you've had for a while, they just... melt away the longer you stay. Eventually, you won't even remember they were there at all. Injuries sting in the moment, but they heal without lasting damage. Diseases vanish. You never grow hungry. In that sense, it's pretty danged close to paradise.

I also mentioned pregnancy doesn't exist here. That's probably another one of those unwritten rules - the people drawn here (or, at least, the people who choose to stay) are not interested in having or being around children. I know that was always something people looked down at me for back in the 'real world' - but they really aren't for everyone, you know? If I'm being really honest, the promise of a life and sexual freedom without the possibility of getting pregnant is one of the reasons I ended up staying. Not the biggest reason, of course, but it definitely factored in. So, if you choose to stay, that's something you really need to consider up-front.

There's one other major thing to know. Remember how I said you can still leave - for a while? There's kind of a timer on that.

See, the Forest of Illway changes people. I've talked about this in my other journals. If you stay here long enough, you will start to change. For a lot of people - maybe even most of us - it means becoming something that... might not be recognizable as human anymore. Beastfolk. Monsters.

Sid says people just become "more like themselves."

For some, maybe that just means they view themselves as more of a protector, so they get more burly, taller. Or they're really into gardening, so they start to comprehend the 'language' of their flowers and vegetables. Or they love to read, and will get so into it that they no longer have to turn the pages. The book just keeps going, the candle they don't remember lighting keeping the words legible well into the evening hours. Subtle changes, things you might not even notice.

But it's not so subtle for all of us. I already talked about my own transformation in another journal, so I'll keep it more general here. Say that person who views themselves as a protector always pictures themselves as a great bear, cuddly to their loved ones but ferocious to any threats. Instead of simply growing taller or more muscular, they develop fur, claws, fangs. The gardener sprouts vines and roots of their own, entwining with their beloved plants and communicating through chemicals in the soil. The avid reader loses their corporality, becoming a sentient current on the air, intent only on the resolution of a good story and always hungry for more. Aspects of their humanity slip away, sometimes slowly, sometimes all at once.

When that happens, there's really no going back, is there? I mean, yes, maybe you can try, but what happens to you back in the 'real world?' Are you a ghost, a cryptid? Or do you change back? No one's really been able to answer that one for me, and I don't really have any way of testing my theories apart from trying it myself - which I really don't want to do.

The thing is, by the time you change, you've pretty much accepted that you want to stay. And the change... it feels good. Really good. Like you've been tangled in a chrysalis your whole life, just waiting to emerge.

I recognize that metaphor may be a little bit on the nose, considering I'm kind of a big anthropomorphic moth.

So, yes. You have some time to decide. You can stay for a little while, but know that the longer you stay, the more chance you'll change - and the more chance you simply won't want to leave anymore. Once the Forest draws you in, you become a part of it. You start to forget what came before, and the passage of time begins to blur. I can't say I think that's necessarily a good thing or a bad thing, it simply... is.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention the other side of that coin, though - you can technically resist the change. I did, for quite a while. Partly because I wanted to see if it was possible, and partly because... well, I was scared. Change is scary. There's a whole village of people who keep themselves strictly human, while still enjoying the other benefits the Forest has to offer. I guess if one of them talks to their plants, or is strong enough to lift up a whole cart by themselves, they just politely don't discuss it. Something like that. What I do know is, they shun anyone who changes too much, for fear of it 'infecting' them. I spoke a little about this in the journal about myself, but I think there's some truth to that idea. The more time you spend around beings tied to the Illway - especially powerful ones like Sidmara - the faster the changes seem take hold, or maybe the harder they are to resist.

I guess if you want to try and go that route, talk to the people in the village. They'll have a place for you, and probably better advice than I can give you.

(Personally, I think they're missing out.)

What else? Food is an interesting subject. As I said earlier, you don't get hungry here, so you don't need to eat. But you can! A lot of people do. Some grow crops, keep farm animals, or gather and hunt in the woods. Sometimes ingredients just appear where you expect them to, like my cupboards. I'm pretty sure none of the food is exactly... real, and that includes the farm and game animals, or the bees in my apiary. There are actual sapient animals around - don't worry, you'll know the difference, and you don't want to try and hunt those - but the others sort of seem to just exist because we, as a whole, expect them to. We expect to see deer and raccoons in the forests, birds singing in the trees, cattle in pastures, crickets chirping at night. And so there are.

But then again, who's to say what's 'real' here anyway? I keep calling the Earth I came from the 'real world', but this feels as real as that ever did, even if the logic here is different.

Again, theorizing later!

So, food? Optional. But drop by my cottage anytime you'd like a bite to eat. I make excellent coffee cakes, if I do say so myself!

How about things to do here? That's a question I get a lot. When you're facing down an effectively immortal life in a relatively limited space, do you get bored?

I think that might be another factor for the kind of people who end up here here. Me, for example? I haven't been bored a moment the whole time I've been here. There's always someplace new to explore, unread books on my bookshelf, a garden to tend, the hives to look after, friends to share an afternoon - either tea and cookies, or something naughtier. Or both! That said, I think the Illway is best suited to those of us who appreciate a quiet, idyllic lifestyle. If you yearn for crowded night clubs and the buzz of technology, the Forest isn't for you. But I doubt those are the people who'd wind up here anyway.

Like I said, time passing tends to blur a little too. I can't actually tell you how long I've been here - at least a few years? Unless you want to document each passing day, it's hard to get more specific than that. There aren't any real seasons to mark the passage of years... well, near the human village there are, but that's just because they want there to be, I expect. Out here, it feels like late spring most of the time, warm but not too hot. Sometimes it rains, but even a thunderstorm in the Illway is gentle and pleasant. Good weather to sit by a window and read, or cuddle by the fireplace.

Oh, one warning... You'll notice there aren't many mirrors around. Reflections here can sometimes be a glimpse of somewhere else, the Mirrorlands. It used to be empty, but... okay, story time. A long time ago, there were only two beings in the Forest: Sidmara and Lyssa. But something happened fairly recently, and Lyssa tried to do the unthinkable - she tried to kill Sid. She tried to kill the very heart of the Forest. To protect the Illway and everyone in it, he banished her to the Mirrorlands, and sometimes you'll see her there now, or the shadows she controls. Normally they just watch, but if you're not careful, she'll try to trap you there too. Just trust me - you'll feel a lot safer if you avoid mirrors altogether.

Other than that, the Forest is quite safe. I love it here... and if you give it a chance, you might too.

Is it all too good to be true? I've wondered that for a long time, even after I made the choice to stay. But why does something being good make it somehow false, or threatening? Are we, as thinking beings, just doomed to forever think life has to contain adversity to be valid? I spent my whole life seeking comfort, security, and contentment, and now that I've found it, I keep looking for the price tag.

If there's a price, I guess I'm already paying it. You do give something up by staying here. You change, and in doing so, you allow the Forest to take you into its embrace forever.

I guess only you can decide if it's worth it.